A Telenovela About Self Love

mona-lisa-smile

There is a scatter plot
Of uncorrelated achievements
Oh I’m a jack of all trades
And there exists,
Braided through them,
A deep-seated contentment
A sense of self
A hint of esteem
And yet –
Yet
It is difficult to melt
That tincture of self-doubt
And a sense of inadequacy
For it is difficult to ignore
The unkempt words of the crowds
The jerks of all creeds
Who inspire such insecurity
That fleetingly
I wish I could forever stay
Wrapped in a cocoon
Of deluded disillusionment
And of uncertain certainty
All the while drowned
In the shallow pool
Of narcissism and vanity
Because
A certain uncertainty
Billows in the recesses of my mind
And overtakes the instincts
Until it eradicates all logical predilections
For languishing in the comfort of
Calculatedly and systematically stretched boundaries
However, Necessity turns my paranoia to adrenaline
Breathing new muscles into my languorous capabilities
And so, sees,
Dollop by dollop,
A regain of my pride
Tempered by time
And resistant to those crowds
Prejudiced
And preening with mockery
But all the while, not unlike them,
I too am walking
The fine line
Between pride and vanity

– Akanksha Gupta (poem only)

Welcome To Society

For all its pretense and propriety

Society is an overgrown child

Swimming in its immaturity

Blindsided and pruned from

Truth and rationality

Weaving and wearing

A layer of masks

Masking layers more

A tangled web I see

If see at all

When I gaze upon

A blank gaze

Lying innocently

Upon every face

A mirage within mirage

An indiscernible complexity

Where vulnerability

Hides behind a blank slate

And truth behind jaded eyes

Where nurture is missing in action

And nature is killed in due time

Yet I am not sure of anything

Everything is shrouded

In ambiguity

I look at you

As you look at me

We wonder what we see

Though I am fairly certain

Whatever we do

Is never even partially true

And in a crowd

Of instinctive dishonesty

I’d like to be thusly ambiguous too

For when wisdom is scarce

Casting labels, while common,

Is dangerous in itself

And I’d like to escape

These labels and libels

These society concocted lapels

I’d like to escape behind masks

I’d like to escape from the masks

Now I feel I’m being torn apart

Standing before a Frostian fork

Left and right are deviations both

A choice, and I can never turn back

I’m afraid

These are the only choices left

For even if I turn my back on society

And forge me another path

In this labyrinth of life

At every dead-end and crevice

Society, again, is what I’ll find

– Akanksha Gupta

Silence of the Lambs

When a rush of words

Tumble down

In a jingle of sounds

That somersault

And rhythmically halt

With eyes emoting

And muscles rippling

There is a hush

Settled amidst a crowd

Of eyes and ears

That, until now,

Were tingling

With anticipation

And now

Are listening

In admiration

– Akanksha Gupta