A Telenovela About Self Love

mona-lisa-smile

There is a scatter plot
Of uncorrelated achievements
Oh I’m a jack of all trades
And there exists,
Braided through them,
A deep-seated contentment
A sense of self
A hint of esteem
And yet –
Yet
It is difficult to melt
That tincture of self-doubt
And a sense of inadequacy
For it is difficult to ignore
The unkempt words of the crowds
The jerks of all creeds
Who inspire such insecurity
That fleetingly
I wish I could forever stay
Wrapped in a cocoon
Of deluded disillusionment
And of uncertain certainty
All the while drowned
In the shallow pool
Of narcissism and vanity
Because
A certain uncertainty
Billows in the recesses of my mind
And overtakes the instincts
Until it eradicates all logical predilections
For languishing in the comfort of
Calculatedly and systematically stretched boundaries
However, Necessity turns my paranoia to adrenaline
Breathing new muscles into my languorous capabilities
And so, sees,
Dollop by dollop,
A regain of my pride
Tempered by time
And resistant to those crowds
Prejudiced
And preening with mockery
But all the while, not unlike them,
I too am walking
The fine line
Between pride and vanity

– Akanksha Gupta (poem only)

STRUGGLE

 

I hate the way you make me walk
I halt in my steps with you

I hate the way you make me talk
I halt in my words with you

I hate the way you stalk my way
How much ever I ask you to stop

I hate the way you hog my words
And overtake the dialogue

So stop alright and let me be
Free of the restrictions we placed on me

And stop tonight and let my dreams
Taste the sweetness of reality

That I may carve myself a path
That cleaves and wrenches my fears apart

That I may clench within my soul
The infinite sunshine of the world

– Akanksha Gupta (poem only)